Well-Meaning (But WRONG) Friends And Family

You know what I hate? When well meaning friends tell me what I should do with my life, I mean my writing. I absolutely can't stand it when them or even people I don't know try to tell me how I should write, how long it should take me...or even WHAT I should write. Writing is a big part of who I am. I really am not thrilled when people try to define what it should be to me.

Have you ever experienced something like this? I know, I haven't gone into any detail at all. But if I do...I think it will only make the situation worse. Anyways, if this has happened...what do you do? Ignore them, tell them exactly how you feel, pretend you agree...what?

I'd love some advice if anyone has any. Man, I'm not even published and the life of a writer is already difficult at times. I just wish people understood what I am trying to do. But the fact is they don't. And chances are if you are a writer most people won't understand you either.

I know, this is such an uplifting post. Yeah. Right. Well, have a good day. I'm going to try to get through mine without freaking out.

Day Fourteen: I'm Stil Moving Forward!

Sorry I haven't been updating you guys everyday on my wordcount. There has been some drama here at home, the WIP stalled...and a lot of other little tidbits I won't rant about here. But I'm off writing again, and as you can see I'm still on track for finishing this month. In fact, if I can write a couple thousand words today I'll even have a buffer day or two if things get bad down the road. I've also gone off of my planned outline and into some unknown waters as far as my WIP goes. I don't know where it will take me or if I'll get back to knowing where I am. For now I'm just taking this as it comes. I'm not really worried. I have the ending in my head and that is enough for me. It's getting there that will be tough. I hate middles sometimes.

I've learned something pretty important this month. The first is pretty obvious. If I want to finish anything I start I need to write on a regular basis. No excuses. I'm so used to writing only when the mood strikes me, but the fact of the matter is that if you want to continue publishing books you have to write every day, not only when you want to. I've known this for quite some time, but it didn't really sink in until this month. I asked myself if I could produce three of four books a year if I had to. And, if I stick with it and write consistently, I have no doubts that I can.

Do you, as a writer, feel it is important to write every day? Do you have a word goal? When is it okay not to write? For me personally, I know it is okay to take a day off when I have other things to deal with. Like my family. There is a middle ground. Writing is important, but it should not come before my child's needs. But, that aside...I've been trying to write as close to every day as I can muster.

In the next few days I'd like to talk about other things I've learned from JulNoWriMo. And I'll probably be ranting about my WIP. Who knows, you may get to see a snippet or two.

Day 8: Still ahead but feel behind, plus I hate what I am writing.

Okay, here's the thing. I'll be the first writer to admit that I've got a serious problem with not listening to my Inner Editor. I always feel like what I have written is crap. Or think its not worth trying to fix things because it will still suck anyway. I know this can be a normal reaction, but its hard to remember sometimes. Usually I just think I'm not nearly as good as everyone else and I've got not right to be writing. What have I got to say that is so important?

Yeah, I warned you. I wasn't in a good mood today. I KNOW that the first draft is allowed to be crappy. But how crappy? When do you say enough is enough, this sucks, lets try again? I want to spend time with these characters...I just don't feel like my writing is good enough for their stories. I know the only thing I can do is keep writing, keep improving. But MAN that is HARD sometimes.

Seriously, as a child I never thought that writing could be so hard. I was oblivious. Or maybe I was smart then. I wrote for me. That was it. If it wasn't fun to write I didn't do it. And I didn't listen to other people. I stuck with what interested me.

A great writer once said that a first draft is for your eyes only, and that you are writing that for yourself. You revise with the reader in mind. That is, if you want to publish. I need to keep this in mind. That all this crappy writing is okay, as long as I love my story. I just have to focus on getting it down.

Anyone else getting the writer blues? Have any tips to combat against it?

Day One: 1283 words and counting...bring it on!

Compared to other writers this might not seem like very much, but for me every word I write is another goal I have passed. So I am extremely pleased with my first effort, even if its not as much as I had hoped to write. And the best thing? They weren't all crappy words. In fact, if I'm lucky, there might be some keepers in there!

If I can actually write everyday...it should be fairly simple to finish my WIP this month, even if I only write at this pace. That will be the biggest struggle for me. Writing every single day. Sometimes I just forget. And others I am too tired or upset. But I've got to get over that if I actually want to finish this thing. And of course I do! r

Does anyone else feel like they must have written thousands of words and realize the actual number is much smaller? That was the kind of day I had today. I just kept thinking I was kicking butt. Come to find out I didn't do as well as I thought. Oh well, I got some words and I like them.

And that brings me to a kind of random question: How do you go about writing first drafts? Do you throw out anything you can think of on the page and hope that something makes sense at the end? Do you revise while you edit? Do you use an outline? Do you write every scene not knowing anything but your characters?

First drafts are quite a fun discovery for me, the beginnings being the best. Although I use a outline I am more than willing to chase other ideas if they come to mind. I will add characters if they call to me enough. I think writing is one of the most spontaneous things I do. There are so many ways a novel can go during a first draft. I love finding out which way I should take.

More Words!

I got to write again today thanks to my awesome husband. He watched the child for a few minutes while I scribbled furiously in the bedroom, wanting desperately to finish my scene before baby needed me. I don't think I've ever written that fast in such a short amount of time, not on paper. The words literally poured from me. The Muse took over completely, and that doesn't happen very often because I tend to be a tad controlling. So imagine my surprise at how well this session went.

My wordcount was 800 words in less than 15 minutes. I couldn't believe it. And the words didn't completely suck either. This was a much needed scene where my MC tries to save her mother's life, only to watch her slowly slip away. And then she discovers that even if she recovers she won't be the same. It was a tough scene so I am glad it came out so well. I wish all of them went like this.

Seriously, maybe I should always write under pressure. If I did this book might come together a little faster, which means I wouldn't worry so much about new projects catching my eye. The thing is, when it comes to me and writing, I can't focus on more than one thing at a time otherwise I just start working on one thing and not the other. That is how I have so many starts to projects with nothing finished. Something always gets in the way. I can't do that this time. I have to finish something. I need to. I want to send this out to agents, to see where I stand. I want to see if I can make it.

I really wish I could juggle more than one project at a time, something I have said many times. I get so amazed when I see writers that not only have more than one WIP in first draft, but are also revising something else and even still has another in development. It makes me almost feel depressed about my one WIP. Like it is small beans in comparison. But I can't think like that anymore. I can only do what I can do, and I am still new at this anyway. Maybe when I have more experience things will get easier.

For now I just have to buckle down and continue on this journey of discovery and hopefully end up with not a competely dreadful first draft. And even if I do...that's what revisions are for. Right?

Writing Will Always Be My Answer.

I just had to post this. I was spending the day really thinking about writers who want to be published but always make excuses why they aren't writing. For awhile I was one of those writers. But for the last two years I have busted my butt even with a now three month old boy, even with a husband, even with any chore that comes to your mind, even with friends and family responsibilities. The fact of the matter is I find the time to write. No matter what. Writing will always be my answer, will always be my getaway. Nothing will make me give it up.

Why do I bring this up? For awhile I was feeling down, feeling like what was really the point of writing? The Voice Of Doom, or rather, my Inner Editor, kept telling me that all my stories were crap. I was never going to get published. So why keep writing? You'd be better wasiting your time on something else.

But it took those hard moments to realize exactly how important writing is to me. This is not about wanting money for my writing. It's not about wanting to be published, or to see my name on the shelves. It's not even about wanting fans. It's about the fact that writing is my life. It's who I am. And because of that it will always be my answer. It took some really sucky moments for me to remember that, but I am so glad I did.

So why am I writing this? I don't want anyone else thinking the way I did. Everyone who wants to write deserves to write. You all have a story to tell. So stop saying that its stupid or trash or doesn't mean anything! Write it!

Don't make excuses about wanting to write, find the time for it. Even if it means getting up thirty minutes earlier than usual. Don't be the person that talks about writing. Be the person that writes.

Is writing your answer? Is it a part of your life?

I don't know if I will ever be published. I want to be, but when I ask myself will I always write no matter what...I know now what I will say.

Writing will always be my answer.

It's Late, I Can't Sleep...Perfect Time To Write!

So the last few days have been tough writing wise. My son is going through another one of his growth spurts and I just couldn't seem to get any time to myself. I'd put him down for a nap but as soon as I took out my notebook or my laptop he would wake up! And need to eat again. Or want to be played with. Or need to be changed. You know, all that baby stuff. So writing through this has been extremely difficult.

Today I decided that no matter what I'd write. Even if it meant asking hubby to watch our son for a few minutes. I just had to get writing again. Meeting my deadline for this story is important to me.

To make a long story short...I somehow managed to write rather furiously while my family kept baby busy, and I even like what I wrote! It seems my Muse really likes to come out to play at night, and while its nice and all...it can also suck. It really gets in the way of my sleep.

I didn't really have much else to say other than I'm proud I got some more words down. I have about thirty five pages of my new story now, which means I am becoming more and more certain I will make it to the end of my first draft. And that sure keeps me going.

When do you write? Whenever the mood strikes? Every day at the same time? Different times every day? I write at least three times a week now and always find that I work bettter at night. Not sure if that is because people are less noisy or my Muse gets more excited...but it sure is fun.

I'm still smiling about those surprise pages. And to everyone reading this: Don't let anything keep you from writing, no matter how little time you think you have.

Reading through my project.

I don't know how many of you are writers. But I have to ask this anyway, for my sanity. Have you ever, after getting started with your project, looked back on what you written and panicked? Wondered how the hell were you going to fix the mess you made? Contemplated throwing out everything and starting over?

That is where I am at now and it is not a very fun place to be. But I have not been known for finishing my writing projects, so I am going to push through this, no matter how painful it is. Besides, I am a writer that tends to hate everything I write during the first draft. I don't really have a clear idea what is good or not until the revision.

But...pushing through can sometimes be so hard. So I wanted to know what you guys do when you think your writing sucks. Do you start over from scratch? Play the lets-pretend-I-got-this-right-the-first-time game and move on? Or something completely different?

Please. Let me know in the comments.

Back on track.

I actually managed to write last night, even though I don't feel completely back yet. I am just not doing so well with the bad news, but I am trying very hard to stay positive.

So. Staying positive...my current word count is 2,928 words. That might not seem like a lot, but it is the most I have written since November, so I am happy. Plus, I have written every day since starting except for one day, which is good! If I keep this pace I'll be done with this story in less than two more weeks! (Yeah, its not novel length, my next project will be though!)

By the way, that leads me to a question I have been wondering: How many of you write even when you are NOT inspired? Because, like it or not, if I want to ever be published I realized I need to learn how to write on a regular basis. I know that in movies they have the writer that has months of writers block only to suddenly be hit with inspiration and then wildly finishes their book which becomes a bestseller... but lets face reality here. That is not how most successful writers work. They treat writing like a job, and therefore write even when they don't want to. I guess I need to keep that in mind when I feel like quitting. If I want to get anywhere in this business I have to find time to write...even if I want to be doing something else.

Just a thought.

Didn't write today...

I feel horrible about it, considering I just started, but I really don't have a creative flow going right now. A loved one of mine, someone I truely cherished...died...and I just don't have any words, any thoughts...other than I miss this person so much it hurts. I am lost without them.

Linda, if you can see me, hear me, anything...I want you to know I'm sorry.

If anyone is reading this I'll try to update you on how the writing is going within the next few days. Right now the Muse is not speaking and I am not sure when that will change. Hopefully really soon. I do love this project and would love to finish it.

And I got my words!

789 words to be precise. Which brings my total word count to 2189 words. That's pretty good for my third day of doing this, especially since I wasn't even sure I would hit 500. So far I've been getting it and then some! I'm proud of myself since I have a little one to look after. And I do mean little. He's only 7 weeks old.

Which just goes to show that if you want to be a writer you CAN make time to write, regardless of how much you work...you just have to find out where your free time is, even if its only ten minutes and go for it! I know I did! Well, it took some coaxing...but once I got started I didn't want to stop!

Seriously. In my project things are starting to get juicy. My MC has just learned of a betrayal that has left her shaken...and things are only going to get worse from here. Man, I am so glad I don't have the lives of my characters!

And this brings me to my question of the day: How many words do you try to write a day? Or do you even write everyday? Do you only write when inspiration strikes, or have you made it a habit? I'd love to hear what you guys have to say.

Let me know in the comments!

When It Rains, It Pours

I'm in California right now. I was suppossed to be here for a nice relaxing vacation before returning to work. But it has turned into a nightmare.

I was suppossed to be on my way home today so I could make it to Oregon in time for my shift, but something horrible has happened. When my husband was at the beach his wallet, car keys and phone all got stolen. That and his glasses got lossed yesterday and he's legally blind! I've been trying to get a hold of my work to let them now what has happened...but they haven't answered the phone. So I have no idea if I'll get fired for this or not. I have no idea when I'll get home. So I am at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do, what to think, what to say. I just want to cry.

What do you do during a crisis? Deal with it, leaving your emotions out of it? Let someone else deal with it so you can sit in a corner and cry? Get angry and yell at everyone? I'm not doing much of anything right now. I'm starting to get scared. I can't loose this job, I just got it.

Right now I'm just praying that I can hold myself together. I don't know if I can.